Road and paths...
Aaaah, went for my long neglected evening walk. Felt happier with myself because of the fresh air. Ever since I began blogging, I haven't gone for a single evening stroll. I don't know why, but after dinner and a bath, here I am having something to write about. Of course its not as trivial as blogging down my walk.
I was preparing devotions for subcouncil last night and wrote down several paragraphs of how I had (to my perception) been a lousy vice-chair. I think I am; didn't achieve much during the whole semester. Upon looking back on my vision at the beginning of the sem and after what I wrote to the chairpersons at the beginning of them semester, I must admit I had changed my views a lot. That's just a nice way of saying that I was a little confused of what I was aiming to achieve. Whether that works out for good or for bad is for God to show me ultimately, right now I reserve my judgement.
I am still debating whether or not to admit that to the sub-council.
On the other hand I am really curious of how the chairpersons percieve me. Do they think I'm lazy, a hypocrite, a loud-mouth, a bossy fellow or just and angry chair? I really want to know, but don't have the guts and thick skin to just say it out. Honestly reflecting back upon the year, I wonder to myself how much of what I have shared during sub-councils have actually impacted and benefitted the chairpersons. I really can't tell from the way things are going.
But I do realize something, I have utilized my position to potray myself as a teacher as compared to a leader. Hmm....I guess it's my natural tendency.
Dear Lord,
I pray that you will continue to break me down to be a better leader. I just want to serve my chairpersons in the best way I can. But often times there are so many distractions and obligations elsewhere that I get confused and tired out. I honestly admit that I have neglected KR alot. But I hope to do better next month. Just pray dear lord that you will forgive me for such neglect.
Any person needs a sense of achievement and sometimes honestly I don't feel that I have achieved anything tangible. Don't tell me about 'having faith' or 'spiritual successes' or stuff like that...I just need a lampost that will tell me that I'm doing the right thing.
I was preparing devotions for subcouncil last night and wrote down several paragraphs of how I had (to my perception) been a lousy vice-chair. I think I am; didn't achieve much during the whole semester. Upon looking back on my vision at the beginning of the sem and after what I wrote to the chairpersons at the beginning of them semester, I must admit I had changed my views a lot. That's just a nice way of saying that I was a little confused of what I was aiming to achieve. Whether that works out for good or for bad is for God to show me ultimately, right now I reserve my judgement.
I am still debating whether or not to admit that to the sub-council.
On the other hand I am really curious of how the chairpersons percieve me. Do they think I'm lazy, a hypocrite, a loud-mouth, a bossy fellow or just and angry chair? I really want to know, but don't have the guts and thick skin to just say it out. Honestly reflecting back upon the year, I wonder to myself how much of what I have shared during sub-councils have actually impacted and benefitted the chairpersons. I really can't tell from the way things are going.
But I do realize something, I have utilized my position to potray myself as a teacher as compared to a leader. Hmm....I guess it's my natural tendency.
Dear Lord,
I pray that you will continue to break me down to be a better leader. I just want to serve my chairpersons in the best way I can. But often times there are so many distractions and obligations elsewhere that I get confused and tired out. I honestly admit that I have neglected KR alot. But I hope to do better next month. Just pray dear lord that you will forgive me for such neglect.
Any person needs a sense of achievement and sometimes honestly I don't feel that I have achieved anything tangible. Don't tell me about 'having faith' or 'spiritual successes' or stuff like that...I just need a lampost that will tell me that I'm doing the right thing.
This entry was posted
on Wednesday, February 23, 2005 at 6:57 PM.
You can skip to the end and leave a response.
» Post a Comment