Thinking aloud

I just got my exam results. I have mixed feelings about it. I got my first A+ in three years, but the sad part is my CAP dropped thanks to a C+ in Discrete Opt. I was expecting a B at least...sigh...

As I was reading this-the sections 2.13 on Missional Congregations Structure for Clan, Synagogue and Temple-I began to wonder...

...is it really true that fears concerning a exclusively western expression of Christianity gives sufficient excuse for christ followers in the east to stop calling a congregation 'church' and a disciple 'Christian' ? What is this 'yoke of Christianity' that they are so concerned about?

It gives me the ironic impression that Jesus greatest enemy is not the devil but Western Christianity.

Sometimes a little more courage and less whining will do well for those 'Christ-following Hindus' and 'Christ-following Muslims'. Doing things like this creates the impression that Christianity is a western religion which is just not true. It alienates eastern believers from believers in the west. It gives the impression to eastern unbelievers that western Christians who use the term Christian to describe their faith are hypocrites or 'less spiritual' so to speak. In as much as I see the intention for ecclesiastical unity, I sense the more decietful desire to play 'catching-up-with the Jones' in the arena of political correctness. I assure you that sane and civilised easteners are more accomodating than most westerners think we are. Finally, a disciple of christ is persecuted not because of the label he uses, but because of the Lord he is loyal to.

Sometimes a little humility and submission to the weight of history with a dash of common sense gives more glory to God.

I'm not kidding you...Svensen's Marina is offering unlimited scoops of ice-cream and a glass of coke for 5 bucks. Damn, could only finish 5 scoops. Disrupted my appetite already...and the fact that Singapore food is bland doesn't help either.

I'm watching Jurong island from my window again. It's been kind of 'long' since I had a look at it. Erm...one more year left of looking at it.

Results coming out on Teusday. Scared...

Ok, so the title is lame!

But I can't help imagining myself as some kind of Jedi. Lightsaber swinging around like that. It's way too cool.

I'm returning to Singapore tonight.

This post is motivated by readers letters published in theStar newspaper, Purple Sofa section. The readers (mainly young adults and youth) are encouraged to write in and air their views on any topic.

Well apparently a letter from a reader in US was published. The individual shared that the dating age of teens in US is 12-13, and the official 'have-been-kissed' age is 15. I take it that s/he didn't mean to condescend (i read part of the letter) but to highlight cultural differences in Malaysia and US with regards to boy girl relations. Since this is Malaysia, it invited all sort of reponses telling our dear friend not to judge our prudishness.

But the interesting here to note is that youths with strong religious upbringing, at least those who don't play double face with regards to religous matters, are not involved in a special relationship until very late (18-20+). There is also a common understanding that such special relationships imply serious relationships (that means with marriage in the picture and not out for a good time). Of course this is not to say that there will be those girly crushes, latest who-likes-who gossip and stuff like that. But all in all, they do not involve themselves exclusively with the member of the opposite sex.

A common reason they would cite is they want to put studies first. Granted.

However, past the age of puberty, a person experiences the urge to find happiness (this being understood in its widest possible way). And it is a common universal experience that proximity with the opposite gender will make us happy. Logically speaking then, if happiness is the purpose of life, the earlier you date, the more fulfilled you are. This is then why teens date early in some countries. However in countries where controls are stricter, we find that teens in general do not rebel against such structure-contrary to what the West would like us to believe. Such countries are countries where religion plays an important part in public and social life. Religion it seems, makes a person happy. Teenagers are usually the most fervent adherents of religion(provided that they sense that that religion is authentic). The upshot is that the religious nature of man can find and does find expression in romantic love.

In general of course the heat of adolescence does cool off and people gradually grow out of this dating game and settle down to stable relationships. But deep down inside, everyone longs for romance. And in places where religion is killed because of secular assumptions, it is also the places where romance plays such a big part in the search for a meaningful life that it has become commercialized. And it comes to a point where romance is made into religion. The easiest religion to be 'romanticized' of course is Christianity and the weakened form of it makes it wildly popular among youth.

Questions of meaning and significance play out in a adolescent's development with greater force that we give them credit for. Without religion to feed his/her soul, they turn to romance and to dating to fulfill them. But this is a poor substitute, for it involves attitudes (loyalty, unselfishness) that can only be cultivated in a religious environment. Attitudes that draw a person from within to focus on what it around him. Romance inherently drives a person to focus inward on how s/he is feeling. In modern society, teenagers are amongst the most angsty bunch of people. Devoid of religion and betrayed by romance, they only can become cynical and bitter adults. Cynical people improvish a soul of a nation. What ever is noble and great about a culture is killed by bitterness.

Tozer's writings are still so relevant today. He was really a prophet and I admire him a lot. Of course it really must translate into action lar. Actually what he wrote about is echoed by many writers today I think, and his ideas expressed so concisely in his little sermonettes hit hard on the nail. Makes me realize that my walk with the Lord is so ugly and cheap.

In essence, the vocabulary of spirituality which we use today is really similiar to what he wrote about: revival, christian living, experience...etc. But its only similiar because its from the same bible after all.

I have read three editions of his collected sermonettes (Pursuit of God, Root of the Righteous, Born after Midnight). I really like his terse style and deep reflection. I really hope to share this treasure that I have with anybody who wants to read him as well. The books that I have (or rather my mothers ones) are well worn. Maybe want to get newer editions with better binding.

But all in all, remember to read the bible also yar...

IMHO, that line, done by Ian McDirmaid who plays Darth Sidous/Palpatine represents what Episode Three is all about: Power.

In fact the whole star wars episodes 1,2 and 3 was supposedly about Anakin's fall to the dark side. But owning to Mr. Christensens woody and stale acting, he was overshadowed by a far more experienced and talented actor, yours truly, Mr. McDirmaid. The machinations of Palpatine is what actually drives the plot forward in all three episodes. Goodness me, he is really evil (and cunning).

If you follow all three episodes and try to piece together his entire plan, you'll see how manipulative he really is. I can't speculate here, for fear of spoiling the movie for some of my readers. I'll do it in a safe future when everybody has watched it.

On a side note, the movies show how easily it is to manipulate people using big concepts like freedom, democracy, security, justice-especially when there is an atmosphere of suspicion and selfishness. Concepts like this-cornerstones of modern civil society-can be easily twisted out of its orginal context to suit a darker and more decietful regime.

Value relativism is not liberation, ironically, manipulates us by making us fear manipulation itself.

Anyway check out this link for some star wars humour.

Christians are loud people. I mean, they have opinions about almost every other thing. At first, it's a nice," From my point of view..." but after a while it becomes, " Are you saying that..." and then it crumbles to, "Why are even arguing about this?!!"

We are like that.

So easily distracted. One writer comes along and says something, and straightaway there are 'disciples' and 'criticizers'. For example: Wright(the new perspective on Paul), Piper(Christian Hedonism), Rick Warren(purpose driven life).

No wonder the watching world laughs and yawns. Christ followers are such boring people after all.

Yes!!

Most probably will be going to watch Star Wars on Teusday.

I can't wait.

Managed to finish reading up to the required sections on Humphreys. So basically I have covered: Definitions, examples of Linear Lie algebras, ideals and homomorphisms, derivations and automorphisms, semisimple algebras, solvablility, nilpotence, Engel's Theorem, Lie's Theorem and Cartan's Criterion for solvable algebra's.

The parts I left out are Jordan decompostion theorem.

I just realized that Lie algebra deals heavily with linear algebra (the study of vector spaces). Time for me to brush up on that area.

Now have to start on exercises, I'm so not looking forward to that. On sunday better start doing the LPC camp booklet.

Probably one of my greatest fear is that one day, I will not be able to understand what in going on in a mathematical proof no matter how hard I try.

Phew...last night was probably the most frustrating night of all. No matter how hard I tried, I still couldn't get around certain fine points of the proof of the theorem. I'll state it down here:

Let L be a solvable subalgebra of gl(V) where V is a finite dimensional vector space. Then there exists a common nonzero eigenvector in V for all linear transforms in L.

The fact that the writer skips a lot of steps and expects me to fill in the technical details doesn't help either.

Let me let out a scream.

I want to watch Episode III !!

'Nuff said.

Something good to read. On why we should strive to learn more and more about the Lord that we love.




It's just me...I think i'm addicted to personality tests. So far none have really told me who I am...I like the graphic though.

I really interested in wordpress.

That's all for now in randomness. Till next time.

Final Fantasy VII was the first Square-made RPG that I played. It was incredible. And when I saw the tech-demo in E3 I really was wondering whether they would remake FFVII to run on the PS3. (not that I am going have one...)

The story was vintage (although it flagged of at the end) but what made it sweeter was that the characters. They were simply inspired characters. You could feel...

(warning spoiler ahead)

...the shock of watching Sephiroth kill Aeris and that classic scene where Cloud lays her body into the pool, just wow...

Nothing beats the music also. Some have said that it wasn't the best of Uematsu's work, but it's good enough for me.

Now I really wanna play VIII (another good one they say) and X (Yuna is hot!).

I hate deleting posts, but when I do so, it's either because somethings are better forgotten, or else I wasn't really satisfied with it.

Right now the exco members are having retreat with the new exco. Hope they are having fun.

Had lunch with Michelle, Siew Teng jie, my brother and Wei Yenn and his g/f. I loved the marmite pork ribs. The rest was rather ok lar.

Slept off the whole afternoon and watched Matrix. Yeah, it's worth repeated viewing, now I have some inspiration to continue on my fanfic.

One step at a time...going on from here.

Check this out for something interesting

Anyway, with so much time on my hands, I think I'll blog on something substantial before going off to cook lunch. I'm just sooo forgetful. Hmm...wonder how people down in hall are doing.

Check out rottentomatoes.com. They have a special meter for Episode III. Aparently, it's still fresh...hehe.

*edit* Sorry I deleted the second part of the post. Not satisfied with it. It's nothing important anyway.

It rained just now, at least it cools down the air. It's been sooo hot these days.

Music...

Can you teach music like teaching handicraft? I guess you could, up to a certain point. I'm think of this cause Jane was asking my brother about how we, as worship pianists are able to play 'flowery' improvisation over the basic chords.

I guess that from experience, what comes first is the passion for music. We play because we simply want to play, and for no other reason. We love the piano and try our best to become better at it. So the more we practise, the more we absorb a variety of music styles from all over the more imaginative we become.

Playing improvisation doesn't meet we are good enough to cut an album or something like that, but what counts I think is that we enjoy each note and each chord we play. The satisfaction from producing some tune or improvisation that nobody has ever thought of before is incomparable.

The skill is acquired. And it grows on you. It is a gradual progression, a development of your own personal style. Nobody can be your 'teacher' in that sense. We are only examples.

I didn't blog yesterday because couldn't find anything interesting to blog about. And there's nothing really to update, apart from the fact that I'm taking it easy here at home.

Aaah...life.

May the 19th is coming. I still haven't called him yet. Must remember to make plans for it. If not, wasted only.

FYP is coming along slowly. I think I'll just wade through the material I need to cover first, then only do the exercises. More efficient that way.

Need desperately to find a quote or article to blog about. Searching, searching...

New word for all of you all. It means sloooooooow.

Ok, i'm supposed to like finish section one of Humphrey's but still cannot. Just too slow, to lazy to really sit down and understand the stuff. I mean I can rush through everything, but what's the point.

Don't you just lurve the holidays.

Have a pimple on my lower lip. It feel so good when you pinch it...ouch!

I watched it yesterday, and boy, was it boooooring....

Character development was nil, Orlando Bloom may be a poster boy, but he is no actor. He did better in LOTR. The only good character worth watching was Saladin. My favourite quote, " I fear for Islam, if I am not around." Or something to that effect.

Sigh...this is really a let down by Ridley Scott. After hits like Alien and Gladiator...this??

I'm back! I'm back!

Got things to do lar of course. So many things planned out to do. Will update later, got a funeral to attend now.

Was browsing through a website, monergism.com. It seems to me that the past will just not die down. Consider this parallel controversies in church history.

1. Augustine vs. the Pelagians, Semi-Pelagians. Historical verdict: Augistine won. Hmm....

2. Luther vs. the Roman Catholic Church. Historical verdict: Depends on which side you are on. If you are a protestant, then Luther won. But if you are a RC, nobody won. There was a RC counter reformation anyway.

3. Arminianism vs Calvanism. Historical verdict: Still undecided. Actually should this one come in number two or number three?

4. Monergism vs. Synergism. Historical verdict: This one is a fairly recent one (I think!) and represents a controversy within the evangelical camp! Oh dear...

(5). Paul vs. the Galatian Judaizers. Actually I hesitate to put this one up. But we all know that this one should be number one since it was the first of these kind of controversies. But anyone who has been following the idea's of the New Perspective would say that this controversy is more about convenant membership rather than a faith vs works issue as we understand it today.

I gave myself away, yeah all five are a variant of the faith vs. works debate-which basically sums down to-what evidences do I have here on earth to decide whether or not I am going to heaven when I die?

These are the ghosts of the past I say, demons of the Christian culture and history that refuse to die. Somehow, some smart alec in any age will just pick this up and start picketing. It's destructive power comes from the fact that it divides rather than edifies and becomes a white coral, which seems beautiful but is actually dead.

Aunty Angela passed away today. She was one of my mother's friend. She joined my parents Cell Group and when I was still in KL, I would see her every Friday, barring the times she was outstation.

Still hasn't sunk in. Guess it's because I'm so far removed from the church life back in KL. But it was a shocking news. Human life is so frail.

Things have really slowed down in hall. Waah, people all going back. Of course I'm going back as well lar, but that's later only. Bought my train ticket today, going back on Monday night. Didn't do much today besides helping Aurelia shift her stuff to my room, spent the whole day playing Pokemon.

Singing out now, not much to update.

A woman's body found in a box by the roadside

Incidents like this make me wonder how safe is Kuala Lumpur. It's quite unnerving, as I approach the age when childhood innocence cannot account for the brutal evil of murder.

Amazon.com: Books: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6)

Let's just say I can't wait for this one. :P

(I'm a Potter fan too and my favourite character is Professor Snape). I just hope that my sister...hear that!...sister doesn't pester me to buy it for her. Anyway, it's way after her birthday, hehe...so there's no obligation to get it for her.

But I really want to read it. Ooh...how much I've degraded...

Had a chat with my cousin's boyfriend just now. Guess his name:

[=Arno Grobbelaar=]

I have a slight inclination on how to pronounce it...but I don't think it's correct. Gro-be-lar. ??Is that how you pronounce it?

An IT fellow..according to him being good in programming and maths are mutually exclusive...IT people don't follow rules. Hmm...I think so to. Programming is too dynamic to follow rules I think. Hehe, but don't think mathematicians don't follow rules, we break them too, in a special kind of way.

Anyway, feeling really hungry now. Going to meet Jay for lunch. I actually don't have much to hand over to him. I guess I'll just listen and find out what apprehensions he has.

Not feeling very well...

Will take a nap.

Sigh...one more to go. Don't fall sick, don't fall sick.

I spend three bucks over a plate of Thai fried noodles (supposedly!). It was nice...yum! But of course I came straight back and fell asleep as I usually do after a meal.

Joshua went back already, and have the room all to myself. Actually, I do feel a little lonely when he's gone, it's just nice to have someone there.

I've finished two out of three lecture notes for genes and society. And will be starting on the last one. Once I finish that, I would have gone over the lecture notes two times already. I dunno, I think I've done enough kua...hope that my grade would pull down my CAP that badly.

Meeting Jay tomorrow for lunch to do handover and after Genes and Society have to head down to Bible house for our very last EXCO meeting. Sad and happy at the same time.

Mahler's Symphony no 2 is awesome. I've not heard such majestic and powerful music for a long time liao. Otto Klemperer is a winner with this one.

Here's where I got this quote from: Warren Weirsbe:

If you get your theology from circumstances you'll come to the conclusion that God doesn't love you

How true, how true. If all we ever had to start with was the simple phrase 'God loves you' and the proceed to live life, I would think most of us, me included would come to the above quoted conclusion: God doesn't love me.

I'm still young and have a long way to go, yes. But I do have my fair share of disappointments with God, in terms of studies, ministry, love life (or the nonexistence of it), but also from interacting with friends, you do know that they are real hurts out there that make you wonder whether God actually loves all of us.

If our theology of suffering just came from what we see around us and let circumstances dictate what we understand about God, then it's true that it's easier to believe that God actually doesn't exist and Christianity is some kind of existentialist soul crutch.

But the fact is that there is a second part to the phrase "God loves me....for the Bible tells me so."

Now here comes the hard part. Who must we believe more, the Bible or circumstances? It actually isn't a question of faith, it's a question of authority, who has authority over us, Revelation or the Empirical? And it's not a matter of cerebral assent, as though living life just involved the brain. We are real people, and real people struggle and fall. Real people ask questions not because they want to write a investigative piece of journalism but because they are really hurt and the only way to express this hurt is through the question: Who can I believe, the Bible or Circumstance?

This question was asked over 3000 years ago by a man named Jeremiah. And he made this declaration: "God you have been exceedingly cruel to me.."

I really do, sometimes want to appropiate that for myself, but of course that's just childishness: My situation doesn't even compare to his.

I guess the point I want to make is that our theology being informed by the bible does not mean we treat the bible as a dusty library to which we reference for truth. If we really mean our theology is under the authority of the bible, we must see that this authority as the authority of a Living Spirit who actively invites us to do business with the real characters in the bible. I think why the bulk of the Bible is in story is because by reading it, the humanity of the characters there show us that despite circumstances, God is still in control, and because of that we can truly say: God loves me.

Just close your eyes and picture this.

I'm starting out from my window, it's 700 pm in the evening and its raining. The soft and steady hiss of the rain drapes the whole picture of jurong island, the sea and port and PGP's steadfast blocks. I'm listening Avril Lavinge's I'm With You. It's just perfect, if only I had a camera to capture the whole scene.

Really, this is what makes living in E7 Worth It!

My Bloginality is ISTJ!!!

As an ISTJ, you are Intraverted, Sensing, Thinking, and Judging.
This makes your primary focus on Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Thinking.

This is defined as a SJ personality, which is part of Carl Jung's Guardian (Security Seeking) type, and more specifically the Inspectors or Duty Fufiller.

As a weblogger, you may will have a dependable form of posting. You may be more likely to be judgementatal toward others who aren't as dependable. You may get taken advantage of in group situations because you are known as not being able to say no. Because of your respect for facts and information, you may need multiple blogs to keep all of the information sorted in your head.

Hmm....

I probably won't do much today. Just read finish up my lecture notes. And probably read through them again. What I really plan to do is catch up visiting all those websites that I bookmarked but have no time to browse through.

Going to have lunch later with Aurelia and Faith. Talk crap again...crapping therapy...*big laugh*

It's so hot that I need to bathe. Again!

I have three months to think about alot of things...number one on my list is what to do after I graduate. Sigh, for anyone who comes by this blog, would appreciate a little prayer from you all. Topsy turvy up and down...I can't see myself anywhere at the moment.

Haha, that refers to the Central Dogma of Molecular Biology. I hope I get this correct:

"The flow of genetic information is from DNA to protien"

Which makes you think: Our development from zygote to embyro to a full born baby is because of the DNA molecule. All that was ever needed: all the controlling mechanisms, the instructions is based on this long strand.

Quite a miracle isn't it.

But then one can always look at it from another angle, albiet a nihilistic point of view and say that there's all there is to it, we're just an expression of information packed in a molecule. Now there's some kind of poetic mystery to it. Something compelling about believing that we're all just that: Stardust.

So the question still remains: Is being alive an expression of the DNA molecule or something else?

I learnt an interesting fact from May Yin's sister yesterday. Apparently when serving rice to Japanese, the rice should be flat and not shaped like a little hill (like the way they serve chicken rice in science). The reason is because rice shaped like a hill seems to look like a grave or something like that.

Another thing, when serving prawns, it's considered rude to have the prawn's tail point at the customer. It should point away from the customer.

Interesting huh...

Do you like my eye?

Yes, I revamped my site. It's new and I like it, but do you?

Do drop some comments yar. :)